House Prices to hit Millenial HIGH!
From Our correspondent at The Priory.
Analysts predict that house prices will hit the highest price this millenia, about 8am on Tuesday next week. They refute that the unregulated industry, which sees them pocket millions as people weep, has anything to do with it.
Mr Ian Cottager, of Dunu Estate Agents said,
The average price of a house is about to jump from 100K to 1Mil, a terraced house will cost more because more people want them. It's market economics. More people want to buy cheaper smaller houses and therefore these houses become the most expensive because there are simply not enough to go around. By May you'll be able to get a mansion for next to nothing but that's not what the buying public want. They don't want a castle, but a similarly priced 2 bedroom terraced in need of repair. It must have potential, otherwise how can people make their mark on the property. A castle has no potential, how can you make that into a suitable modern suburban living environment?
Your's for only £1M...
why would you even want this, buy a car instead!
You know, readers, I'm convinced. If you got any sense, get on the band wagon now. You may have set your sights on a 40 bedroomed Scottish fort but, trust me, you'll never get your money back.
University Professor, Edvard Slackhousen from Ewesless College, Oxford, commented
The recent trends have been much more towards the smaller house and flats. This is why prices are inflated; it is a distortion but a fair one for all of us who bought our houses many years ago at next to nothing. I wouldn't put people off buying a Fort but make sure you get value for money. Make sure that knight armour adornments are included and the moat is well drained. I'm, sure this time next year, you'll be able to pick one up the price of family car, careful about the trees though. They are dangerous this time of year.
So there you have it. Straight from the horses mouth. I think I'll go down to my local agents and get myself on the flat pack bungalow ladder as soon as possible!
Good luck,
Monty Nodope
posted by Dieter Hitchens at 2:25 PM
19 Comments:
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